Oh, I so know I am going to make a whole hill out of this seemingly molehole. In Chinese, the saying is, “a big essay on a small topic”. Oh how right!
Be prepared!
It actually happened when a friend told me that her son still remembered me, and sited the entire incident. In the incident, she asked her son if he remembered “Aunty so-and-so”, so-and-so being me. So that part got me miffed, though I must say, I am a slow digester. Even if I am upset, I get upset pretty late. The bad part? The backlash came later, and stronger.
So I woke up in the morning, got very distressed at it, and SMSed that friend to tell her that it is not fair for her to demote me to an “Aunty”, which is a very demoting word in Asian if you are not married or have child/children, just because I am friends with her (a middle 30-years old). Let’s say I am 30 years old and above and still unmarried, etc, then fine, so be it. I will succumb to the society’s standards and mockery. But hey, I am just out of graduation a few years, still looked (according to my friend) like a student, and just because I am friend with you, a mother of more than a decade, I am being demoted to an “Aunty”? I say, where’s the fairness?
In the past, things were not like that. I have often expressed my upset over the newer generation’s upbringing, which is worsening, because of the newer generation of parents’ lack of thinking. I am not saying to teach your child in a traditional way, but merely to raise a petition for you people to start sitting down and thinking what’s the right thing to teach your child and the wrong thing to teach your child.
In the past, we only call people aunty when they are married and with children, or married and divorced and with children. Generally, if you are with children, you are more or less an Aunty. Then, that rule is extended to calling people who are “old enough to be aunty”. Fine. So be it.
But to call someone whose still single/childless/young an Aunty? I can’t swallow that! Esp not just because “I am your friend”, or just because “I am too lazy to teach my child to call someone something else other than Aunty/Uncle”. My dear friend, did I prejudice you and not befriend you just because you were at your situation in life? If I did not, then why are you prejudicing me just because I am your friend, or that I have chosen to befriend you?
I hope you don’t see me as being “troublesome”, which unfortunately you already have. Well, according to you, I am being unreasonably upset in the morning… oh sorry. I have this habit of taking a long time to realise I need to make a point. And names is something that we need to make right.
If it were the past, then I wouldn’t have to suffer this. Even when I am friends with a grandmother, I am introduced to her grandson as a “sister”, not an “aunty”. And if I ever dared to anyhow call people aunty (when I was younger), I would be scolded by my mother for being rude!
This insistence is MOST ABSOLUTELY NOT being “an old lady” as you call it. Would you be happy if I were to ask my friends to call you slut/cheat? You wouldn’t, because that is insulting, even more so if you aren’t.
So let’s get things right, people. This world already had too many people who get the names wrong, not to mention labels!
And in any case you ARE wondering why I am making a big hill/essay out of this, I can only say that I do not live in a world where if I wished hard enough, I may get what I want. My friend’s insistence to continue addressing me as “Aunty so-and-so” is right prove. Even if I did wish hard enough, there won’t be a Hero coming up to save me. Now, the world I live in, is a world that if you want something, you need to get it for yourself. I learnt that since I was small. Esp that if you don’t want something, then you need to work hard to get it off you.
